A few years back I was a single gal who had great friends and worked a bit too much. After many years of setups and dating, I still had not met the right person yet. I had an otherwise great life but didn’t have that special someone to share it with.
Part of the issue for me was my job. I worked long hours for a boss that completely took advantage of me.
Don’t get me wrong, I did have dates. But as I got older, meeting quality people became harder to do. Then a friend recommended that I try Internet dating. At first, I was completely put off! I wondered what kind of people would try Internet dating? How safe it really was? How to go about it?
I joined an online dating website and at first felt a little awkward about emailing people. I was hesitant to meet people out. I wasn’t sure how to end a date.
After a few weeks, however, I realized that my ability to write really helped. I could write an essay that showed my personality and therefore attracted like-minded people. In six months I met over 60 guys for coffee and conversation, and one of them turned out to be the man I would marry just one-year later.
After I got married I wrote a book about my experience (At the Coffee Shop) and started working with Internet daters to help them craft their online profiles. I also became a weekly online dating columnist, where hundreds of people contacted me with questions about the right and wrong way to go about Internet dating.
After a while, I realized several of the questions I was getting through my online column were very similar. Many singles wanted examples on how to write an eye-catching profile, suggest an online meeting, or even, how to politely end a date.
I also found that many online daters wanted to check a few boxes on an Internet dating site and have the perfect partner delivered right to their inbox. Internet dating is a wonderful resource, but it’s only an introduction. Daters still need to get to know someone before deciding if they are right for them. It can’t be done simply by a profile and email exchange alone.
I was midway through writing my book when I said to my husband that I wanted to let singles know that they have to do the right work to find out what makes another person click. There is a method to Internet dating, to be sure, but it isn’t like placing an order. In short, it wasn’t like ordering a pizza! My husband said to me, “I think you’ve got your title there.” I knew he was right.
Cherie Burbach used her experience with meeting her husband online to pen At the Coffee Shop, a humorous look at the world of Internet dating. Cherie went on over 60 coffee dates in just six months. She met lots of great people and one of those turned out to be the guy she would marry just one year later.
She is the Dating Feature Writer for Suite101, an online magazine with over 10 million views monthly, and also the author of three poetry books, including A New Dish and The Difference Now. Her latest, Father’s Eyes, has received the 2008 Editor’s Choice Award by Allbooks Review. Cherie blogs at Jennifer Lopez, Jessica and Ashlee Simpson, Career and Kids, Celebrity Apprentice, Gossip on Sports, and Diabetes Notes.
For poets looking for a review of their book, check out Cherie’s new site Bonjour Poetry Reviews.
Readers have resonated with Cherie’s honest and inspirational “This I Believe” essay, which is the second-most popular out of over 32,000 entries on the NPR website. For more information, please visit Cherie’s website at www.thedifferencenow.com or www.datingdatingall-things-dating.blogspot.com.