Breaking up is always hard. Whether you dated a few weeks, a few months or a few years, nobody likes to be rejected. And when you are left reeling with emotional pain and myriad emotions, what do you do?
The fact is, no one ever teaches you how to handle losses in life, especially loss from a relationship breakup. Whether you were in love or in like, people mistakenly believe that “time heals all wounds” or you just have to “get over it.” But how? How do you get over it?
One of the reasons I wrote this book, “When Love Ends,” is because I’ve been there myself, and I want to be a voice of encouragement to help people who are stuck in their story. I want to give them hope that one day it won’t hurt so much, that you can get from sadness back to joy; and go from your darkest night to your brightest days.
After my last relationship ended, I wanted healing, and I wanted answers. So I went to a nearby Christian bookstore to look for a resource for singles getting over a breakup, but I couldn’t find one. There seemed to be a lot of books that tell you how to get together, but what about when a dating relationship falls apart?
So I went to another bookstore, didn’t find what I was looking for. They advised me to “just take a bubble bath” and “don’t sleep with the next guy on the first date.” I needed more. Where were the words of comfort and encouragement? Where were the women who had gone before me to pave the way with practical solutions from a God-centered point of view?
“There has to be a better way,” I thought. So I read the Bible, I prayed and asked God for wisdom. I talked to wise friends and sought out wise Christian counsel. In the process, I gained valuable insight into the key stages a person needs to journey through to get from heartache to healing.
I wrote this book to provide a resource that was both practical and faith-based so singles could find help and hope after a relationship ended. I wanted it to be about healing your heart and changing your life.
The fact is, after someone gets dumped they often don’t know what to do. So they do nothing (and hope the pain will just go away), or they handle it in unhealthy ways. They try to soothe the sorrow with excessive eating, drinking, shopping, or partying, and when those temporary fixes are over they still have a broken heart.
Also, people need to realize that there are consequences of not dealing with breakup pain, or handling it in unhealthy ways.
- You may carry your breakup baggage from one relationship to the next, so you never seem to find the healthy and lasting love you truly desire.
- Or, you repeatedly date and breakup in a crazy-making cycle—attaching and detaching to people—but not really “connecting” because of the emotional holes in your heart.
- Or, you get stuck in your story, and you can’t seem to let go of the past or your pain for months or years.
Jackie M. Johnson is an accomplished author and freelance writer who has a passion for helping people who’ve experienced brokenness. Her first book, Power Prayers for Women has sold almost 200,000 copies. A Milwaukee native and graduate of Trinity International University, Jackie lives in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Her latest release is When Love Ends and the Ice Cream Carton is Empty.