The Story Behind Gary Morgenstein’s How to Find a Woman…Or Not


Back in September, I was having dinner with my friends Max and Ilil. Over a second Stoly on the rocks, I bit into my Buffalo Mozzarella and whined about my latest bad date.

This one was a real charmer. A vegetarian, she suggested meeting at a leafy green place on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Hey, I have nothing against mushrooms and, besides, her online photo suggested a brown-eyed hottie, for which I’ve always had a particular weakness since my passionate one-sided love affair with Natalie Wood, which ended in abject heartache.

Upon arriving, she was every bit as cute as her photo. For the most part. There is a 10% deterioration/disconnect, at best, between online pictures and reality. However, not only is she snarky and argumentative, along with ordering every expensive tofu-broccoli-what-have-you concoction on the menu, plus dessert and coffee and 32 iced teas, but she drove me to countless glasses of wine when she said she’d had some bad recent dating experiences herself and “couldn’t imagine having sex with a guy until about the 19th or 20th date.”

Since the dinner bill hit $200, I estimated it would cost me close to four grand to reach the Promised Land. And who even knows if that would be milk and honey. I could lease a BMW for cheaper; it probably came with free Sirius radio.

My pals insisted I should write about my experiences. The time a woman from an online site looked like Walter Mondale. Or the girl who commented on my choice of a restaurant as “I think we can do better.” The ones who lied about their age. Their marital status. The fetching brown-eyed girl who said she didn’t know why she was on this date since her daughter made her come. The one who fell asleep and forgot to come at all.

Or the Chinese woman in the Laundromat who misunderstood my “advances” and had her husband and sons take vengeance on my clothes.

I figured if I didn’t write this book, I would view the whole dating process as one long unending conflict. The title of Joe Haldeman’s classic sci-fi novel, The Forever War, comes to mind.

But if I somehow put all this down and looked for insights out of these experiences, if I could find clarity and help other guys find their true love, no matter where they looked – from gyms and supermarkets to bookstores and yes, Laundromats – then I was making all of this worthwhile. It ceased to become narcisstic kvetching.

Suddenly it had a purpose.

In addition to his dating/relationship book How to Find a Woman…or Not, Gary Morgenstein’s books include the novels Loving Rabbi Thalia Kleinman, about a divorced man who falls in love with a beautiful woman rabbi; Jesse’s Girl, a powerful story about a father’s search for his adopted teenage son, and Take Me Out to the Ballgame, a political baseball thriller, as well as the baseball Rocky The Man Who Wanted to Play Center Field for the New York Yankees. His prophetic play Ponzi Man played to sell-out crowds at the New York Fringe Festival. He lives in Brooklyn, New York, surrounded by lots of books and rock and roll CDs.

In addition to How to Find a Woman…Or Not, a comic step-by-step guide to finding true love anywhere on Planet Earth, critically-acclaimed novelist-playwright Gary Morgenstein’s books include Loving Rabbi Thalia Kleinman, about a divorced man who falls in love with a beautiful woman rabbi; Jesse’s Girl, a powerful story about a father’s search for his adopted teenage son, and Take Me Out to the Ballgame, a political baseball thriller, all available on Amazon, as well as the baseball Rocky The Man Who Wanted to Play Center Field for the New York Yankees. His prophetic play Ponzi Man played to sell-out crowds at the New York Fringe Festival. He lives in Brooklyn, New York, surrounded by lots of books and rock and roll CDs.

You can purchase his new book, How to Find a Woman…Or Not at Amazon by clicking here.

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One thought on “The Story Behind Gary Morgenstein’s How to Find a Woman…Or Not

  1. Pingback: Pump Up Your Book’s February 2010 Authors on Virtual Book Tour – Day 6 « Pump Up Your Book Promotion Virtual Book Tours

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